The Day Before Christmas
by Hakumei
Summary: The G-boys are going Christmas shopping until one unmentionable G-boy causes trouble...


The Day Before Christmas  
By: Hakumei  
  
Disclaimers: You all know how this works, I don't own Gundam Wing or anything associated with it, but I do own security guard Bob. I don't own Bell Sympatico either....but hey, I'd like to be on their high speed internet service if my dad ever cracked down and bought it. ^_^  
  
Hakumei: Ok boys, let's get a roll on...I need you at the mall shopping  
  
Quatre: Aww...I don't like shopping my sisters made me go with them and I hate CLOTHES shopping.  
  
Hakumei: I hate it too, but ya don't see me complaining  
  
Duo: ....she's got a point  
  
Heero: Hn  
  
Trowa: ....  
  
Hakumei: Ok, now that we've got the shopping thing covered...MOVE IT! MOVE IT! MOVE IT!  
  
Wufei: I still say this is injustice to what you will do to me....injustice I say! INJUSTICE!!!  
  
Hakumei: *groans* Look Wing Wong....either you cooperate or I send Nataku through some time space continuum...got it?  
  
Wufei: *nods his head vigorously*  
  
Hakumei: *sighs* ok....now let's get this show on the road!!!  
  
***************************************************************  
  
It was your average day at the Sherbrooke Mall on Christmas Eve. People were rushing and looking for last minute presents to give to family members and friends. The five Gundam pilots had been aimlessly wandering through the thick crowd of shoppers, in pursuit of presents for each other. It had been Quatre's idea to do the Kris Kringle(1) bit after they'd been told they'd have a few days off from the war to celebrate Christmas. At first when he had suggested the idea, no one had been willing to participate, but when he threatened to shed some tears and pull the classic "puppy dog" eyes, who could resist? So here they were, looking for a gift for the person they randomly chose in their name draw.  
  
When they reached their destination-or mission as Heero reminded them, they split up in hot pursuit of presents. Duo had been walking by a Hallmark store whistling to "Jingle Bells" when a huge fat man in a red suit walked up to him. The big burly man had put an arm around Duo's shoulders and asked him what he wanted for Christmas. Duo, oblivious to who the man was, elbowed him causing him to fall back only to hit his head against a post. Duo was about ready to split like the Dead Sea and make a run for it when a strong iron hand gripped his shoulders. "Stay right where you are young man."  
  
Trowa had been attempting to look for the perfect gift for Quatre (Which he miraculously picked his name from the hat), when he heard his name on the mall's PA system. A nasaly female voice stated that "Heero Yuy, Chang Wufei, Trowa Barton, and Quatre Raberba Winner, to report at the mall's security office immediately." Great, don't tell me Heero tried to self-detinate again after thinking a teddy bear was an Oz spy" he mumbled to himself. He wondered why Duo's name hadn't been called but sighed and began to walk in the direction of the mall's security office.  
  
When the four Gundam pilots, who had been called over the PA system arrived into the small office-like room, a tall dark haired security guard with the name "Bob" inscribed on his name badge, told them all to take a seat. A crestfallen Duo sat on a chair with his hands cuffed. Bob the security guard, stood up to address the young men, "It has been brought to my attention that your friend here, Mr. Duo Maxwell, has done a horrendous thing. He knocked out Santa Clause a.k.a Mr. Brinksworth, giving him a serious concussion and leaving him unconscious." Quatre looked over towards Duo with watery eyes, almost on the brink of tears. "You-you....hurt Santa?", he said with a soft voice. Trowa folded his arms against his chest, glaring coldly and unsympathetically at Duo. Security guard Bob nodded his head at Quatre's question. "Mr. Brinksworth-Santa Clause, has been working here for twenty years. It is the day before Christmas and there is a line of approximately 300 eager kids waiting to see and possibly get their picture taken with Santa."  
  
Quatre stood up from where he had been sitting to take a peek at the line-up of kids, only too look sadly at the floor. "How could you Duo? All those children...". Duo shrunk a couple of feet in his chair shrugging, completely overwhelmed with guilt. "I didn't mean to...I thought he was some psycho path who wanted to, like kill me or somethin' " Heero "hnn'd" and looked at the security guard. "How much is his bail or fine?", asked Heero in his usual monotone manner. Wufei just stood there off to the side as usual, mildly paying attention to the conversation (Sharon, he's in La-La land hehehehe). The guard stood, looking at Heero and ran a hand through his hair. "Well, you see, Mr. Brinksworth is willing to let Mr. Maxwell go scotch free if-" Heero glared his "I'm going to kill you" glare at the man, "If...?". Security guard Bob coughed nervously looking back at Heero. "-If Mr. Maxwell is willing to take his place as Santa, along with all of your assitance. It will be a write-off and it won't be logged on his permanent record. Talk about nice or what eh kids? If it would have been me, your friend here would have been locked up!" All four boys looked at each other and nodded in agreement, except Wufei, who was still in La-La land. In unison they said "We'll do it."  
  
Duo shot his head up and looked at the three who agreed, "You...will?" Trowa, Quatre, and Heero shook their head up and down confirming their decision. Security guard Bob smiled at the boys, "All right then, it's settled. I'll take you five to the dressing room where you will wait to be told what to do and wear."  
  
"Mr. Maxwell, please come here. Since you were the one who caused this trouble, you'll be Santa Clause, you certainly have the sunny disposition anyways. Mr. Yuy, you'll be the photographer since I personally can't picture you as jolly man, Mr. Winner, you'll be Mrs. Clause. Don't 'awww' me young man, you'll do fine and can thank Mr. Maxwell later on. Mr. Barton you will be the assistant elf and Mr. Chang, you can be the female assistant elf." Wufei shot up a look at the guard that could kill. "WHAT?! This is injustice! I refuse to be potrayed as a....a...A WOMAN!" The assistant sales clerk Ms. Johnson who so kindly volunteered to help the boys, smiled at Wufei. "You could always be an over-sized present that sings Christmas carols to passer-byers, dear." Not knowing which was worse, Wufei sighed and sat down, hunching his shoulders slightly, defeated.  
  
When each of the boys returned from the dressing room, wearing their respective costumes, Duo grinned through his synthetic white beard and looked down at his stomach, which of course, had been stuffed with pillows, since he was so thin. "I look like a sumo wrestler", an overly excited Duo exclaimed. A frowning Wufei walked out wearing a skin-tight red velveteen short dress with matching green elf shoes that had bells on the tips. His shoulder length hair had been done in a fashion to make him look more feminine and a stuffed bra had been generously donated to the outraged Wufei from Ms. Johnson, who also graciously applied his make-up, giving him that "feminine physique". Wufei looked towards Duo's direction, mumbling something incoherent about wearing women's clothes and cosmetics was a form of injustice and glared at Duo saying how sumo wrestlers didn't look as goofy as Duo did.  
  
A few moments after Wufei "graced" us with his presence, an elven Trowa popped out from the dressing room. He smiled sheepishly as Duo giggled at his costume. He had puffy green shorts, striped red and white panty hose and a green long-sleeved coat-like top that had frills around the collar, two pointy red elven shoes with bells on the end, and LAST but not least, an elf hat. As rediculous as Wufei felt, Trowa equally felt the same. After a brief moment of silence, Trowa finally spoke out, "So, who do you think is next?"  
  
To answer his question a grumbling Quatre stumbled out wearing the Mrs. Clause outfit that was lent to him. Trowa couldn't help but stiffle a laugh as the protesting Quatre frowned in his over-sized red dress. He had a wig to give him the snow-white hair and over the top of his "hair" was a red bonnet with white lace trimming the edges. He had on a red dress that reached his ankles with a white apron to match his black buckle shoes. When he actually did flash one of his cute little smiles, he had the Mrs. Clause look right down to an art. "Why do I have to be a girl?" demanded an annoyed Quatre. "Why do YOU have to be a girl? At least you aren't stuck in this...dress! This is a complete injustice and is dishonourable! If my family was alive and found out about this....I...I'd be dissowned!" protested Wufei.  
  
At Wufei's sudden outrage, a monotonous voice spoke out, "Relax Wufei, it's not the end of the world." Before Wufei could protest some more, Duo broke out in genuine laughter as he spotted Heero wearing green antlers and a sparkling red nose. Who would have believed Heero to wear something so-cute!!!  
  
After a few minutes of laughing at each other's costumes, the five boys were brought out in the open to face the music. As Duo walked merrily down the hall towards the area where the children would meet 'Santa Clause', squeals could be heard from the kids as the boys reached their final destination. As Heero approached the camera, he stopped and looked at it, his face masked with complete confusion.  
  
"What is it?" asked a mildly concerned Duo. Heero looked at Duo, "I've never used a camera before..." Duo giggled at the 'informative' news. 'So the Perfect Soldier doesn't know how to use a camera, what a joke', thought Duo. As Heero gave Duo the look of death, Trowa walked up, the little bells on his elven shoes jingled as he got closer. "Here. I'll show you how to use a camera."  
  
After showing Heero the basics, he still looked a little bit confused. "Here. Pretend this button is a self-detination button in Wing Zero. You're zooming in the camera lens to check if there are any Oz soldiers in the area where Duo will be seating. When Duo and the kid smiles, you know you've been caught and the only way not to get caught, is to self-detinate. God it?" After a brief moment of hesitation, Heero finally nodded his head and said a barely audible "Yeah."  
  
When the boys were in place, the children started to walk up to meet 'Santa'. At first this were running smoothly, with the usual questions, Santa asked. Fortunately no one asked for a picture yet. A little girl with two blonde braids walked up to Trowa and started to point and giggle at him. He looked down at her with a puzzling look, "What is it kid?" She grinned at him, "Your hair Mr. Elf, it's pretty funny lookin' it kinda looks looks like a lethal weapon! You must use lotsa hair gel Mr. Elf!" At first Trowa decided to ignore the little girl but failed due to her high pitched giggles and chanting 'Mr. Elf looks funny'. He had enough, he picked the giggling girl and placed her at the back of the line with a "hmmph" and mumbled something about how children should have more respect and he didn't use THAT much hair gel.  
  
As Trowa was fending off the psychopathic giggling girl, Quatre was having problems of his own. He was trying to pry off a little boy who was holding onto him like the jaws of death. The little boy whose name was Bobby, was crying in the folds of Quatre's dress not wanting to let go as his mother angrily tried to get him to let go of Quatre. Bobby, who just not going to let go, assumed Quatre was his grand mother (I guess his girly, tapette looks and wig came in handy). He tried to bribe Bobby with candy canes, but no avail, the kid stuck on to him like clue. "Let me go Bobby, Mrs. Clause has to see the other nice children too"  
  
Bobby screamed a distinct "Nooo" that could be heard throughout the entire mall. "Me stay wit yours nana, me not wanna see you go!" screeched little Bobby. After 45 minutes of trying to get rid of the kid, he finally fell asleep against Quatre, a sweet little smile on his face, making little Bobby look almost innocent. Quatre scooped Bobby up in his arms and gave him to the impatient mother who stormed off with the sleeping Bobby in her arms.  
  
After the 200th kid, Duo who still smiled and was 'jolly' as ever, loved his job. It was not until a red headed kid with freckles and a look of mischief about him began bouncing on poor Santa's knee. The children who loved the good humoured Santa, were behaving fairly well until the red-headed kid named Max started to get on Duo's nerves. "Santa is a nice horsey, bouncy, bouncy, BOUNCY!" The devil of a child bounced so hard in Duo's lap that on the last time he said 'bouncy', Duo fell right out of his chair. The red-nosed reindeer, Heero, who had witnessed what happened, glared coldly at Max giving his usual "I'm gonna kill you" look. He picked up Max, setting him on Duo's lap again (against Duo's will of course!) and told him to sit still until the picture was taken. He went back to the camera to take the picture..."smile". After Heero pressed the button to take the picture and said "Ka boom!" after he took the picture (He seemed to do this often after Trowa's little explenation of how to use the camera). Little Max walked up to Heero and poked him. He looked up at Heero and grinned. "Hey Rudolph, take your own advice." Max giggled teasing Heero about how his 'cute' little sparkly red nose, as Quatre, Duo, and Trowa pulled Heero back from trying to kill the kid saying his infamous "Omae O Korosu."  
  
Wufei grabbed the kid by the hand practically dragging him away from the pissed off Heero. The boy looked up at Wufei, angry. "That wasn't the most intelligent thing to do kid. Now Rudolph's a-" before he could finish his lecturing to Max, he received a kick to the shins. "OWW!!! You insolent disgraceful boy! You have caused a horrendous crime of injustice", the hobbling Wufei in a red dress said. "You's isn't a girl Mr. And if you's is....you's is one hell of an ugly lady!" "Wufei's jaw hit rock bottom, but before he could say or do anything, Duo came to the rescue.  
  
"Listen Max, Santa is NOT going to give you any presents but a lump of coal if you don't stop hurting Mrs. Elf and leave her and Rudolph alone, ok?", the pissed off Santa...err...Duo exclaimed. The bratty little Max took the hint and made a dash for his mommy before saying sorry to Wufei and 'Santa'. Duo flashed a grin to Wufei and proceeded to continue for the next hour, listening to what the little tykes wanted for Christmas. When our five Gundam pilots had finished their task (no thanks to Duo and his little charade he pulled off at the beginning), returned to the dressing room. They were all exhausted, even Heero. "I wish I could keep this dress, the colour sort of suits me" said Quatre as he flashed Trowa a smile (Happy Sharon? He likes the dress). Trowa only smiled in return as Quatre blushed crimson. "It does look good on you, minus the hair and bonnet", Trowa had told him. "Oh well..." Duo looked at the two and rolled his eyes as he dressed in his usual garb of black. 'I think I am going to be sick', thought Duo.  
  
**********  
  
When they returned to HQ, which Heero some how conjured (how we don't know, maybe with the use of his best friend...the laptop?), the didn't think twice before heading for bed, exhaustion completely set in from their rather...interesting...day. Even Heero turned off his laptop and went to bed. T'was the night before Christmas and all through the house, not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse...except for a certain clatter that would have been heard, but all the boys were sound asleep. No, Heero was NOT on his laptop (again with the laptop!), it was the big jolly man in a red-clad suit. He was giving his thanks to the boys, hey after all, even the G-boys need a little break and an act of kindness returned every now and then.  
  
When Quatre had woken up to get his breakfast and start the day at 5:30am(2), he noticed a Christmas tree, decorated with a star on top with Christmas presents under the tree. He yelled for everyone to wake up as soon as his shock wore off. As everyone filed in the makeshift living room, they all noticed what Quatre saw, eyes wide. "LOOK!" exclaimed the hyperactive Duo. "These presents are all addressed to us!" he said as he passed out the gifts and ripped open his.  
  
"Hey look what I got!" shouted Duo as he showed everyone a huge stack of mangas and a year's supply of Gummy Bears. "I LOVE Gummy Bears" beamed Duo as he munced happily on a handful that he grabbed. Quatre smiled to Duo and showed what he received, an orange and pink, gold rimmed tea set(3) with of course, a year's supply of tea. Quatre giggled and looked over to his 'friend', Trowa. "What did you get?" To satisfy his curiosity, Trowa lifted up a dark green sweatshirt and a black turtle neck with a cute little teddy bear on the collar(4) and last but not least, some gift certificates for some new clothes (he needs more of a variety, n'est ce pas?). Heero received a free connection service plan to Bell Sympatico High Speed Internet Service(5) and a blue shirt complete with baggy blue jeans(6). Wufei received a cool looking red dragon statue with emerald green eyes and a year's supply of javex for his white outfits (They must be a bi**h to get the stains out!).  
  
While looking at the name tag to read who the gifts were from, Trowa, who doesn't seem to speak much to the others except to Quatre, was shoked at what he saw. The presents were given to the boys by none other than good ol' Saint Nick himself...Santa Clause! He gasped and told everyone to "Look at the tags". Duo looked at his and said "COOL!" as he grabbed everyone in a group hug (yes, even Heero was included, much to his dismay), and hugged everyone hard. "Merry Christmas! See, our holidays didn't turn out to be as bad as we thought!"  
  
~Owari~  
  
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Notes  
This story is dedicated to my friends, Laura, Kim, and Sharon. The did give me some of the ideas in here...so alas, it's been written for them. Without their creativity, I couldn't have done it.  
  
1. Kris Kringle....for all those that don't know...put names in a hat with X-mas ideas, pick one, get the gift, don't tell the person you're their Kringle...nuff said.  
  
2. Yes it is possible, no he's not completely insane, I have a paper route and get up at that time!  
  
3. My mom owns a tea set like that....it's beautiful, but I don't drink tea...never will...I hate the stuff even if it's part of my   
inheritence. My Grandfather got it when he lived in Poland.  
  
4. I luv cute little things like that...couldn't resist it.  
  
5. Bell Sympatico High Speed Internet....my dream to have and a Candian company.  
  
6. Got sick of his spandex outfit so I decided to get him a new one, besides the spandex sort of reminds me of Spandex-Adidas Boy....Laura knows who THAT is.  
  
********  
  
Hakumei: That wasn't as bad as it looked eh guys?  
  
Wufei: *grumbles* A singing present?  
  
Hakumei: Uh...yeah....don't ask Wing Wong  
  
Wufei: Stop calling me that! My name is not Wing Wong!  
  
Hakumei: What ever you say.....*snickers* Wing Wong.  
  
Heero: *glares* Oma----  
  
Hakumei: Yeah, yeah, I know...Omae O Korosu...blah blah blah, like I haven't heard it before. You looked sooooo cute! I'm sure Duo here would agree too nonetheless! Oh common now! Don't frown, it takes more muscles to frown than to smile...put on a happy face!  
  
Duo: *nods his head vigorously while eating a candy cane* You should smile every once in a while Heero-koi (hee hee see Laura!!! I know where to use that word!). You look soo cute!  
  
Quatre: I hate red....it does not suit me...pink does....  
  
Hakumei: Aww, where's your Christmas spirit Blondie?  
  
Trowa: Christmas is over  
  
Hakumei: *gasps* He speaks! You're right...oh well, it was a nice story nonetheless! Ok...well...I'm going now...thanks you guys!  
  
*Hakumei disappears in that time space continuum *  
  
  
  
  
  



End file.
